Marty arrives home from work and as soon as he sets foot in the house, Sadie is on to him, telling him that their friend Marvin has finally quit smoking.
\n\u201cImagine that, Marty,\u201d she says, \u201csomeone who smoked 3 packs a day for 20 years has stopped smoking all of a sudden. Now that\u2019s what I call will power \u2013 something that you definitely don\u2019t have.\u201d<\/p>\n
But Sadie hadn\u2019t finished.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd that\u2019s not all. I hear that Bernie, that drunken friend of yours, is finally giving up drinking \u2013 another example of the kind of will power that you don\u2019t have.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK, Sadie,\u201d said Marty, \u201cyou want to see will power, do you? Well here\u2019s will power. I am going to sleep in the spare room from now on. I am going to prove to you that I won\u2019t be affected at all by not sleeping with a woman.\u201d<\/p>\n
Marty keeps to his word.<\/p>\n
One night, when he had been sleeping alone for a week, there is a knock on his bedroom door.<\/p>\n
Marty shouts out, \u201cWhat do you want?\u201d<\/p>\n
Sadie replies, \u201cMarvin has started smoking again.\u201d<\/p>\n
==============================================
\nA husband was addicted to smoking and drinking.
\nOne day, his wife got so angry that she told him: \u201cIf you keep on smoking, all of your intestines will fall out.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her husband didn\u2019t believe her, so he kept on smoking and drinking just like he always did.<\/p>\n
His wife was determined to prove herself right, so one day she went out early in the morning and bought some big intestines. She stuffed them in her husband\u2019s underwear as he slept.<\/p>\n
A short while later, he woke up, let out a huge scream, and then fell silent for the next 30 minutes.<\/p>\n
After another 30 minutes of silence, he comes downstairs, sweating profusely.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened?\u201d asked the wife.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were right! My intestines did come out, but don\u2019t worry honey \u2013 after a lot of work, I finally managed to push them back in.\u201d<\/p>\n
==============================================
\nA rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up.
\nAs he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life.<\/p>\n
\u201cWow, this is great!\u201d he thought. It wasn\u2019t long before he came to a hedge and after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight \u2013 lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey!\u201d he called. \u201cI\u2019m a rabbit from the laboratory and I\u2019ve just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, come and join us!\u201d they cried.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat else do you wild rabbits do?\u201d the lab rabbit asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d one of them said, \u201cyou see that field there? It\u2019s got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them.\u201d<\/p>\n
This, he couldn\u2019t resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful. Later, he asked them again, \u201cWhat else do you do?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou see that field there? It\u2019s got lettuce growing in it. We eat that as well.\u201d<\/p>\n
The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later completely full.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s fantastic out here in the world,\u201d he told them.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo are you going to live with us then?\u201d one of them asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry, I had a great time but I can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
The wild rabbits all stared at him, a bit surprised. \u201cWhy? We thought you liked it here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI do,\u201d the rabbit replied. \u201cBut I must get back to the lab. I\u2019m dying for a cig * rette.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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